you'd never know

You'd never know
I was fighting for my life eight months ago
I shut the door and covered the windows
'Cause the sunlight hurt my eyes
I couldn't even go outside for so, so long

And you couldn't tell
But the inside of my head was a living hell
I tried my best explaining how it felt
But nobody ever understood
Doctors said that everything looks good
So I blamed myself

I don't think I'd ever been so lonely
Didn't know if I would make it out
The dead of the winter of my life
In the middle of the summertime
And it still haunts me now

But you'd never know
That it took me months to step outside alone
'Cause my body still gets tense when I walk home
Past the spot where it all went dark
It's like a movie flashing back in parts
That cuts deep and slow

Oh, I don't think I'd ever been so lonely
Didn't know if I would make it out
The dead of the winter of my life
In the middle of the summertime
And it still haunts me now

Everyone said, "You like fine from the outside"
But in my mind I was upside down and screaming
"What the hell is wrong with me?" Oh
Tryna make it make sense, making my head spin
Now I pray to forget 'cause I'm still here screaming
"What the hell is wrong with me?"

But you'd never know
Oh, you'd never know, no, no