healing hurts

I expected the exhaustion
And the days I couldn't get outta bed
I expected the prescriptions
And the pain I felt in my head

I thought, slowly, I'd start feelin' better
I'd stitch my life back together
One day at a time
In one long straight line

But healin' fuckin' hurts sometimes
I wish I would've known
I probably would've closed my eyes
Waited 'til it was all over

It gets better 'til it just gets worse
A full-time job isn't this much work
I know that I'll survive but
Healin' fuckin' hurts sometimes

I expected, for a few weeks
I might not feel quite like myself
I expected, someone to tell me
Some explanation for what I felt

But now, it's been more than a year
And I still don't have any
Clear-cut answers
And askin' just feels like slippin' backwards

Yeah, healin' fuckin' hurts sometimes
I wish I would've known
I probably should've closed my eyes
Waited 'til it was all over

Yeah, it gets better 'til it just gets worse
A full-time job isn't this much work
I'll know that I'll survive but
Healin' fuckin' hurts sometimes

Oh
Oh
Oh

No one told me it would get this lonely, I
Spent six months piecin' back together
Who I was, will it be forever? So jaded
Done with bein' patient, I'm sick of hearin' that I'll be fine

'Cause healin' fuckin' hurts sometimes
I wish I would've known
And someone told me to close my eyes
Wait until it was all over

Yeah, it gets better 'til it just gets worse
A full-time job isn't this much work
I know that I survived but
Healin' fuckin' hurts sometimes