never got better

Please don't ask me
How I've been doin'
'Cause I don't wanna lie to you

I've felt like me the last few weeks
But if I start talking, I'll think about the shit I've been through
Then I'll be knee-deep in those

Feelings I've been trying so hard to escape
But oh, God, now, it's too late

Suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death
I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second, step back
And I just can't hold it together

I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it
End up back in my head, my prison
Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever

'Cause every time that I remember
It's like I never got better at all

At square one and it takes months
Until I feel normal, but, one day, if I scroll back too far
The photos put me in those

Feelings I've been trying so hard to escape
But oh, God, now, it's too late

And suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death
I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second, step back
And I just can't hold it together

I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it
End up back in my head, my prison
Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever

'Cause every time that I remember
It's like I never got better at all

Ten steps backwards without a warning
I push it down 'til I can't ignore it
Crying on the floor
I've been here before

Suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death
I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second
Step back, and I just can't hold it together

I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it
End up back in my head, my prison
Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever

Try to keep on gettin' better movin' forward every time that I fall
But every time that I remember, it's like I never got better at all