The Leader's a Loner

I know I've been an influence to people in my life
I've given people happiness, I've some others cry
When you got no idea who you really are inside
You gon try fit a narrative and swallow all your pride
I feel like everything occurs and has a greater purpose
I'm just sittin' in my bed, I wonder if I deserve it
I think I got some issues, they be tucked behind the curtain
On this record, I done let them be known and that's for certain
I take myself to therapy, converse with my all thoughts
I become a different man when I'm lost in the sauce
I admit a lot things that I probably shouldn't
But the fact that I can talk about my problems, I'm a boss
I got so much goin' for me, yeah so how I could I fail
Full of drive and determination, tippin' the scale
I sounded better than these veterans when I was startin' out
And like anybody else, I got some problems I don't talk about
They got me in chokehold, I try not to show it
I know I got this only chance, I better not blow it
I mow the competition with my words, I'm a poet
Every time I start to lay to my pain, I make sure that they notice
I been floatin' in my head for a whole damn year
No control of my emotions, the way my mind steers
Yes, I can't lie, I was jealous of my peers
Yeah, I look inside the mirror and start to shed a tear

Leader of my pack but I'm still going hard
With depression and anxiety, I'm playin' my cards
I'm tryna win the game so I could reach for the stars
And if these mothafuckas died, bitch I know I'm goin' far
Leader of my pack but I'm still going hard
With depression and anxiety, I'm playin' my cards
I'm tryna win the game so I could reach for the stars
And if these mothafuckas died, bitch I know I'm goin' far

I slide my pride to side to let you know something
I let you in on how I'm feelin' tryna grow something
Pack my feelings in this wood and I'ma toke some
I can't fuck with phony humans and that's most of em'
My problem is I'm overthinkin' everything
Deep inside I know that everything'll be okay
I can't wait to see my fans at my tour dates
I'm just prayin' that my mental's in the right place
The hardest thing I ever had to overcome is me
I'm starting to believe that I might just be the enemy
I tried a couple drugs tryna to see if they would settle me
They had me in a trance but that shit was temporarily
Been killin' myself tryna find a working remedy
I been fuckin' these women, some are white and some are ebony
But mentally it's hard to find exactly what's the recipe
To kill off all my tendencies and start fulfilling legacy