Lust After No One

Can't stop the voice in my head
Didn't know that it was this bad
Dear lord, my God I repent
It's been hard, I cannot pretend
Don't know how this will affect
Don't know how this will impact
Don't know if I could look back
Don't know, don't know

I can't believe, some of the stuff I seen
I wish I could've runaway, but my eyes were stuck in place
Not safe when I sleep, it follows me in my dreams
Sometimes I can't get enough somedays
Man, I wanna runaway

Come bring your darkness to light
Cause when it's hidden then it's harder to fight
My strange addiction is uplifted with the power Christ
I got nobody praying for me
Nobody safe from this beast
Victim of my myself, my biggest problem ain't satan, it's me
I think it's safe to believe, I need to seek help
No dreams, just nightmares, I'm feeling like Meek Mills
It's going bad, but I'm hoping that
I could maybe find something, that can overlapped
These twisted depictions, through a
Cantata's Form, I'm asking, God can you listen?
Please, let me paint the picture, so that you see the image
I was painted as the villain but I'm really the victim
And I eat up all the blame, cause that was all I was given
My cousin touched me, I was 5 she was 9, we were literally children
I grew up lustfully, I guess this was just the beginning
Im 19, found God, I'm the proudest of Christians
My sins in the dark, I'm still very addicted
I need help

I can't believe, some of the stuff I seen
I wish I could've runaway, but my eyes were stuck in place
Not safe when I sleep, it follows me in my dreams
Sometimes I can't get enough somedays
Man, I wanna runaway

My porn addiction is wicked
Been hooked since a single digit
The damage has been inflicted
Don't think I can be forgive
Exposed, at like the age five
2008, or 9
Little kid, I was traumatized
But I'd hate to lie
And say I wasn't impressed
I guess this what you call sex
My parents did this just make me
They made life with some flesh
Then people showed me it in school, then I got kinda obsessed
The way that women move they body, man it's probably the best
Stuff that I've seen, none of it was heavenly
True to my religion, but addicted to the devil's treats
Lost Mia, cause I was just lustfully driven
The only reason why she liked me, cause she thought I was different
Guess she was wrong, now that she gone, feels like there's still something missing
Lost my best friend, because my sin, we both just a victim
Now that was pain, if it ain't, please, tell me what is then?

I don't care the beat stopped, you gone hear me detox
Texting her on Messenger, waiting for them three dots
All them texts I sent to her, waiting for a response
Thinking bout her Facebook, the one that she got me blocked
Out of friends she was the best
She came at me so correct
She would listen to my words, I mean every single breath
More I think it really hurts, back when my life was a mess
When I tried to just go right, she caught flight and just went left
What this gotta with addiction?
May I ask, can you listen?
Let's get down to this business, let me break down the vision
I'm insecure, I got anger issues and no father
And I don't care bout your pity, so please, don't bother
This the reason, I wake up and grow stronger
I fight the war in my head, without no armor
This ain't easy, I don't drink nor do drugs
If I had more friends, I'm sure that I could use a group hug
I guess at the end, all I wanna have it true love
But women dancing nude to me the truth? Man that's screw up
Who knew lust could take the pain away
I can't sleep, I'm laying awake
Watch my problems fade away, when she make that thangy shake
At the end
Man, I hope this all just make sense
I used Mia so I could've piped, so I could make friends
And brag about it, yeah you can laugh about it
I sacrificed my friend, and at the end, I rapped about it
Lust after no one