Birthday
It's my birthday, but I'm not feeling happy
I hope nobody remembers to shout any wishes at me
Haven't felt worse pain, joy is really lacking
Yet that doesn't exempt me from getting up to go to class, the
Time that I wake up is 6 AM
I wish that I could wait and get marked late, but
My brother can't be late, so that's great, fuck
I guess I gotta go and hope nobody knows the date of
My birth, I curse while getting out of bed this morning
Walk over to my closet, throw on a shirt and shorts and
Brush my teeth, comb my hair, and apply deodorant
I'm really dreading this day while moving at the pace of a tortoise
Start heading for the door and I am hoping
I can avoid my mother's focus
(Let me say happy birthday, Nathan)
Sorry Mom, I gotta get going
Happy's an emotion I don't have, but she doesn't even know it
Cause I don't feel the need to show it
Brother hands me the key, we open
Up the car door, place my hands on the steering wheel, we're going
I blast music I can relate to, need to hear it in my ear to cope with
The craziness that life is throwing
Once I arrive at school, I'm praying none of my friends will notice
(The birthday boy is here)
Damn, they noticed
Now I hear a chorus
Of wishes that start flowing
I am going insane I know it
But I won't let my emotions get spoken about out loud
I don't need no one to figure out
That I am depressed and hopeless on my birthday
Place a mask over my face to hide the hurt, pain
Hey it sucks hearing "Happy birthday"
When that's the one emotion you don't feel, kay
Matter of fact, I'm having the worst day of my life
Why should I celebrate my birth when all I wanna do is die
I wish I was never born and Mom and Dad got an abortion
Cause I don't feel like someone they should even like (damn)
They say they love me, but really why
I don't love myself, I just wanna freaking die
These are the thoughts running through my mind
Until 2:45
Of all the days, this is the one that isn't soaring by
The bell rings
Thoughts are still depressing
Cross country practice is the next thing I gotta go to
Hope nobody knows the pain I go through
It sucks feeling like your closest friends don't really know you
I make it to practice
Dap up my friends Jackson, Zach, and Matthew
Do two laps on the track then the team captain
Starts making jokes about my mother's cancer while we're warming up
He knows the pain that causes and yet still won't give a fuck
But instead of lashing out in anger, I feel more depressed
I try my best not to break down, but that's what happened next
Two of my friends are there to hear me say what's in my head
Thank God they could help when I was wishing I was dead
Here's how the conversation went
Man, I just, I just hate myself
I don't understand why everything in my life is going wrong
You can't control all the negative things going on in your life
There's no need to blame yourself
I disagree
This is God's way of punishing me for being such a terrible person
Who told you that
Because I know God didn't
Nathan, you can't let all the negativity of the world get to you
Don't let these hard times take away your joy
I hope nobody remembers to shout any wishes at me
Haven't felt worse pain, joy is really lacking
Yet that doesn't exempt me from getting up to go to class, the
Time that I wake up is 6 AM
I wish that I could wait and get marked late, but
My brother can't be late, so that's great, fuck
I guess I gotta go and hope nobody knows the date of
My birth, I curse while getting out of bed this morning
Walk over to my closet, throw on a shirt and shorts and
Brush my teeth, comb my hair, and apply deodorant
I'm really dreading this day while moving at the pace of a tortoise
Start heading for the door and I am hoping
I can avoid my mother's focus
(Let me say happy birthday, Nathan)
Sorry Mom, I gotta get going
Happy's an emotion I don't have, but she doesn't even know it
Cause I don't feel the need to show it
Brother hands me the key, we open
Up the car door, place my hands on the steering wheel, we're going
I blast music I can relate to, need to hear it in my ear to cope with
The craziness that life is throwing
Once I arrive at school, I'm praying none of my friends will notice
(The birthday boy is here)
Damn, they noticed
Now I hear a chorus
Of wishes that start flowing
I am going insane I know it
But I won't let my emotions get spoken about out loud
I don't need no one to figure out
That I am depressed and hopeless on my birthday
Place a mask over my face to hide the hurt, pain
Hey it sucks hearing "Happy birthday"
When that's the one emotion you don't feel, kay
Matter of fact, I'm having the worst day of my life
Why should I celebrate my birth when all I wanna do is die
I wish I was never born and Mom and Dad got an abortion
Cause I don't feel like someone they should even like (damn)
They say they love me, but really why
I don't love myself, I just wanna freaking die
These are the thoughts running through my mind
Until 2:45
Of all the days, this is the one that isn't soaring by
The bell rings
Thoughts are still depressing
Cross country practice is the next thing I gotta go to
Hope nobody knows the pain I go through
It sucks feeling like your closest friends don't really know you
I make it to practice
Dap up my friends Jackson, Zach, and Matthew
Do two laps on the track then the team captain
Starts making jokes about my mother's cancer while we're warming up
He knows the pain that causes and yet still won't give a fuck
But instead of lashing out in anger, I feel more depressed
I try my best not to break down, but that's what happened next
Two of my friends are there to hear me say what's in my head
Thank God they could help when I was wishing I was dead
Here's how the conversation went
Man, I just, I just hate myself
I don't understand why everything in my life is going wrong
You can't control all the negative things going on in your life
There's no need to blame yourself
I disagree
This is God's way of punishing me for being such a terrible person
Who told you that
Because I know God didn't
Nathan, you can't let all the negativity of the world get to you
Don't let these hard times take away your joy
Credits
Writer(s): Deago Forth, Nathan Robert Harms
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
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