Varsity Man

I woke the first morning, a spanking new me
A two-two success in the old PPE
Transformed in the moment from man-in-the street
To one of the self-serving bogus elite
Victory snatched from the jaws of defeat
By one of the self-serving bogus elite

I'm always recalling the way it began
The day I enrolled as a Varsity man
Remembering fondly my first Marguerite
So dear to the self-serving bogus elite
And certain to kindle a quickening beat
In the heart of the self-serving bogus elite

I was, even though toiling mostly unpaid
Still nonetheless master of all I surveyed
Ready and willing to suck at the teat
Of the best of the self-serving bogus elite
The tower of power throbbed to the beat
Of the drum of the self-serving bogus elite

It's never been difficult, climbing the tree
On the back of an excellent two-two degree
Besides, it's all about the people you meet
When you're part of the self-serving bogus elite
I'd quickly discovered the place was replete
With the sons of the self-serving bogus elite

I've never quite seen why the plebs make a fuss
Over one rule for them and another for us
If they want to join us, they know where we meet
To be part of the self-serving bogus elite
They'll have the respect of the august effete
In our wonderful self-serving bogus elite

It's true, as a Minister serving the Crown
That I've not levelled up; but I've not levelled down!
So, I can rely – when I beat my retreat
On all in the self-serving bogus elite
Playing the game in an endless repeat
Of the song of the self-serving bogus elite
And that's why I say, without pride or conceit
I stand with the self-serving bogus elite