My Heart

This one's coming from my heart, again
Straight to everyone and anyone who understands you get me
I don't really care if you understand though
It's just... Wo lock up
Yeah, yeah

My heart aches, it's alright
It's okay, I feel great
I put a smile on my face and they think that I'm happy
But I know that I'm not okay

I pick up stuffs and I cut myself
I can't talk to my friends, I do that in my head
My girl was mad at me
I talked to Lulu and she said
I should go to the mirror and say some things (I didn't)

I'm walking round school with my head down
My head keeps spinning around
Reminiscing on the things of the past
And they said should leave it but I know can't

(I feel like) I feel like nobody gives a fuck
(I feel like) I feel like we all just need someone
(Someone we) Someone we trust so we'll open up
(Sometimes we're) Sometimes we're scared and we keep it locked
Then we think we are safe from the things that hurts

I need someone to lean on I guess
But I'm too shy and too scared to ask
If I do it would feel like I'm stressing them
And I don't wan be anyone's stress
And I don't wan get anyone vexed
I'm just saying these things from my heart
And you are surprised 'cause you don't know me well

I don't want to hurt anyone with my words
I'm saying some things now deep down it hurts
But I want them to go away, no, I can't live this way
What if I pack up and run away (huh)
What if I go back and end it all
Or I go check my future to know if I'm wasting my time now
So I guess I can say my goodbyes now
Sorry I'm leaving now

I'm having problems but I cannot reach out
I'm in a dark room and I'm tryna break out
I have me a voice but I cannot speak out
And it's like in my head I just kinda black out

There's so many things I don't understand
I wish someone can say that they understand
I wish someone can bring out their helping hands
So I hold it and get on my knees and I say

Oh Lord please save my soul
My heart is so damn cold
It's like I don't feel anything even the love that I felt grew cold
How would you make it known to me so I may know
That you still right here with me
And you here to help me grow

One minute I'm smiling with you
And the next minute
I am looking so sad and lost
Like where's all the happiness gone
The say the truth behind me and they lie to my face
I pray I don't go down the wrong way
Down the wrong way on the one-way
Guess it's alright if I go down down the wrong way

My heart's on DND
Please don't disturb me, I don't want your company
How am I coping?
I've got people around me still feels like I'm lonely
Sometimes they check on me
And they tell me they miss me
I tell them the same thing
You miss me, I miss you too
I know you want to hear it so I will just say it

So they can leave me alone
So I can be in my zone
So I can cry all alone
I feel my pain all alone
I fight my demons alone
I go through all the wild nights alone
I know I love being alone but deep down I know I need someone close

I hope I feel better after this song
What am I saying? I know I won't
I will feel worse and I'll go write more
I'm just like a kid that got lost in the woods
Screaming for help and there's no one there
So I have to be strong to get out of these woods
I don't want to be scared please I need help
Please is there anyone there?

Life is a race, I'm running
Life is a battle, I'm fighting
And I don't know if I'm winning
But I know I'ma keep moving (I swear)
Life is a race, I'm running
Life is a battle, I'm fighting
And I don't know if I'm winning
But I know I'ma keep moving (I swear)
I swear, I swear, on God, yeah