Ballad of the Best Friends

I scavenged through
Entryways of my primary school
With my best friend on takedown day
Watching as teachers created new board displays we
Were always early always giggling always together, feet
Scuffling along the concrete and knees
Knocking together in hiding places we
Were always and then we weren't
Only miles apart and yet standing in the same room
Her mother's voice echoing off the walls saying
'You're not a good fit for her'

And then I find myself falling
Again- until I hit the ground running
With Mama who lived minutes away whose
Address I had memorized in a day
And we ate Indomie and laughed at jokes we had been crafting since yesterday
And we talked about everything
How she grew boobs before me and how
Painful it was and how exciting it was and how
Frightening it was and how
It was and then she left
Moved continents away and took pieces of me with her

But years later I met Dee
And we were attached at the hip and we
Always had laughter tumbling from our lips and we
Drank coffee every morning with slow sips and we
Swore to never leave the other and we
Argued over One Direction and Justin Bieber
And then over her new friends and new boys
And then over a boy and then over nothing at all and then
We didn't argue.
Only passed along silence solidified to yellow apathy
Well wishes sharpened to sickly sincerity

I mistake glass crunching beneath my feet
For eggshells breaking underneath me
Shattering under the weight of tragedy
Heavier than the feeling of giving yourself constantly

I am learning to see life plainly to
Sing love's praises to
Leave doors open to
Allow for my heart to be open
To live without being held

I am learning that people are not safety nets
No matter how sturdy they seem