I Wanked My Shoulder

It was the 4th of October
I swear to you I was sober
My scooter hit a small boulder
I fell and fucked up my shoulder

So I went to the doctor
What I said must have shocked her
When she asked me I told her
That I wanked my shoulder

I said I wanked my shoulder
Her eyes grew colder
I meant to say yanked my shoulder
Not wanked my shoulder

But I never told her
I meant yanked my shoulder
I left it out in the open
She wrote it down in her folder

What a weird disclosure
It made her lose her composure
Inside a small enclosure
I think she feared exposure
Couldn't get much bolder
Than to wank my shoulder

We started talking it over
Her favourite puppet is Grover
My favourite sweet is pavlova
Her's is apple turnover
My favourite drink's Pepsi-Cola
She likes to drink Passiona
She drives a pink land rover
Her hometown is Dover

Her scrubs were green like clover
But had a dank smell of mould ewwr
She asked me to bend over
How's that linked to my shoulder?
I just wanted to show her
That I wanked my shoulder
She checked me for melanoma
I'm an avid blood doner
Martina Navratilova
Has never been near my shoulder

The Doctor's name, it was Georgia
She looked like a true bunny boiler
I said, Hey Doc, Can I call ya?
She said, No, you're a poser
I said, for the results of my shoulder
It's not like I'm wanting to bone ya
You see, I'm just a loner
And I don't want corona
This ain't no creepy faux pas
Just want the results of my shoulder

I said I wanked my shoulder
But I meant yanked my shoulder