Darkside Ecstasy

That year I brought you to the dark side
When we'd take molly at the drop of a hat
Like if we didn't we would die
Even on weeknights
When you had to get up
To go teach English at the junior high
Fuck

Skipping breakfast
To sleep through classes
Roommates asked me
If were we not codependent?
And how long can you even sustain this?

And when the drugs finally broke me inside
I swore that this would be the last time
I can't keep staying out 'til sunrise
To figure out why
I'm never gonna be famous
Or anything relevant
The daily fears about aging
As painful as watching you relapse
And sedating your passions
Like Sylvia Plath did

How did you dig yourself out of there?
And get your med school applications in
By the end of October?
I've got a hazy memory of a rooftop
Strung out, not comprehending
When you told me that our friendship
Had to be ending now
And how did I dig myself out of there?
Well when your life has become empty of
Everything but the sinister smile of the drug
You can either end it all or get better

And do you ever think about me?
When you're hustling out of anatomy
Suddenly surrounded
By the undergrad revelry
You answer never again, never again
Cause you've seen the dark side of ecstasy

And maybe someday I'll find you
Spirit of my nightmare
Living gently on a coastline
Our scars faded in time
And we'll be swallowed by the din of the ocean