Montana in Ashes

And this is the part where you drive through Idaho alone
Gotta get back to Montana before the snow falls
And I thought my hometown would feel warmer now
Like it is when I am fucked up, remembering
And I thought my old friends would be sober now
Like the ones in my childhood memories
Girl with the the modest mouse tattoo
No longer working at the coffee house
Well I'll drink a 40 by the riverside
Like we'd do when we were 15
I wonder where she is now
Where is anyone now
And how many drowned in this town
How many still in their parents house
With their parents still around
Or maybe not around
Like last year put my dad in the ground
Thought there were faces that I'd wanna see
But their loneliness unsettles me deeply

And when I look across these vast plains
Covered in snow
Up to the mountains with no names
I feel I am connected to here
I bled right into that ground there
The ashes of a fire
I set on a night just like this one
And the sky is indifferent, and the stars are identical
To those I'd look up to when I had no past yet
But man I had plans
To get out of here fast cause
I was sad as a kid
I think I've always been sad
Growing up where
The sky above's endless
And the roads all go nowhere
Surrounded by greyness
And photos of lost years

And I would light my own house on fire
If it would burn down down the bad times
When I cannot be alone without
Alcohol turning my blood into
Rip tides where I drown whatever it I was
Before I came down from the plains til I
Stop seeing whiskey-soaked snow days and nights
Reflected in every kitchen knife

My friend's folks had a barn
That we used to go and drink in
After Friday night football games
All through the autumn
There was light
There was warmth
And we laughed til we passed out and woke up
To the cold and bright Montana morning
And I didn't know it then
But I think it was the happiest I've ever been