Is It Me, or Is It Hot in Here?

I was walking down the street
Feeling oh-so-neat
Went into a café, found myself a seat
Bing, bang, shalamalang
Is it me, or is it hot in here?

Well, I had a cup of tea
Cost me 90p
Saw a man across the room admiring me
Oh no, glimmer and glow
Is it me, or is it hot in here?

I never go anywhere without my cardigan
Because you never know when the temperature's gonna change
Just remember weathermen quite often get it wrong
Especially when they try to forecast long range

So I'll be hanging around, cool as can be
When suddenly, fire's burning in me
Undo a button, but if that does nothing
I'll have to keep unbuttoning until I'm free
No more the sizzling me, no sir
Dabbing with my hankerchief, yes sir
Oh, the tremendous relief, oh sir
As I raise my arms and let the air get underneath

Hung my cardie on a peg
Ate my scrambled egg
Felt the perspiration trickle down my leg
Cripes, yipes, gimme some wipes
Is it me, or is it hot in here?

Well, I went to see Pierre
Guy who does my hair
In the salon, peeled off yet another layer
Howl, growl, hand me a towel
Is it me, or is it hot in here?

I was hoovering the hall
Someone came to call
Whoopsie, I forgot I'd nothing on at all
Gosh, gosh, here comes a flush
Is it me, or is it hot in here?

My cardigan's an essential piece of clothing
And without it, my ensemble is utterly incomplete
Every woman needs a little something she can take off
When uncomfortably affected by heat
So when it happens again, 'bout once an hour
I've had a good night, I've had a shower
Feeling so icky, incredibly sticky
I start to shed my clothes like petals from a flower
Right in the middle of town, oh sir
Moisture besmerches my gown, oh sir
Stand next to me and you'll drown, yes sir
Oh, the moment passes and I start to simmer down

Well, I went into a shop
Had to buy a mop
When I got inside, I buttoned up my top
Brrr, grrr, hand me a fur
Is it me, or is it cold in here?

First I'm dressed up like a yeti
Then I'm just a sweaty Betty
Watch me pour, what a bore
I could make Siberia thaw
Oh is it me, or is it
Ho-ho-ho-ho-hot in here?

Put your cardies on, girls
Take your cardies off, girls
Put your cardies on, girls
Take your cardies off, girls
Cardies on, cardies off
Cardies on, cardies off
Cardies on, cardies off
Cardies on, cardies off
Too darn hot