Every Single Word

So there's a monster on each one of my shoulders
Sometimes they hide in the closet
Sometimes they're under my bed
When they come out to play
They tell me to throw it all away
Sink down deep and hit rock bottom
That's where I'd end up anyway
They come at night when I'm at my lowest
When I'm awake and nobody's around
They take hold of my vulnerability
You can bet they bring me down

But what scares me is
I believe every single word that leaves their mouths
I'm a trainwreck kid
And you just can't bear to look away from this
So I'll put on a show
Keep my demons entertained with words and notes
Cause you know all my best defenses lie inside my throat

Sometimes it feels like I'm the monster
With the way that I'm constantly scaring myself
Why does failure seem so close?
And I can't even lift these feet to run the other way
Or simply heed my mother's warnings
Cause her son's mind is storming with words and ideas
And not a single one involves a shred of self control
All he can feel is this pull towards his dreams
But do they have to be so far?
It makes me feel like giving in
But there's nowhere to fall and no way to win
So I'll just make friends with the voice in my head
And keep doing this dance till it leaves me dead

Don't believe any little word that leaves my mouth
I'm a trainwreck kid
And you just can't bear to look away from this
So I'll put on a show
Keep my demons entertained with words and notes
Cause you know all my best defenses lie inside my throat

When I'm awake at night, I pray that I can somehow see a day
When all my fears leave me
I can't dream of any other thing
Cause I'm so in love with the thought of loving life
But all the monsters in my head have got me looking past the thought
That this is what I always wanted, isn't it?

This is what I always wanted, isn't it?
(Tonight, the air burns bright
With the fires of a million cigarettes
Their ashes fall, and so I rise up from them
I'm rising up again)