In Praise of Women [Act One]
She wouldn't
Therefore they didn't
So then it wasn't
Not unless it-
Would she?
She doesn't
God knows she needn't
Therefore it's not
He'd never
Therefore they haven't
Which makes the question absolutely
Could she?
She daren't
Therefore I mustn't
What utter rot!
Fidelity is more than mere display
It's what a man expects from life
Fidelity like mine to Desiree
And Charlotte, my devoted wife
How was miss Desiree Armfelt?
In good health, I trust?
Charlotte, my dear
I have exactly five hours
Five hours this time!
Last time it was four
I'm gaining ground
She had a visitor
A lawyer in a nightshirt
Now that I find interesting
What did you do?
Threw him out
In a nightshirt?
In my nightshirt!
What sort of a lawyer?
Corporation? Maritime?
Criminal?
Testamentary?
Didn't you sister's little school friend
Anne Sorensen marry a Fredrick Egerman?
Yes, she did
Fredrick Egerman
The papers
He mentioned papers
Some legal papers which I didn't see there
Where were they
The goddamn papers
She had to sign?
What nonsense!
He brought her papers
They were important, so he had to be there
I'll kill him!
Why should I bother?
The woman's mine!
Besides, no matter what one might infer
One must have faith to some degree
The least that I can do is trust in her
The way that Charlotte trusts in me
What are your planning to do today?
After the five hours?
Right now. I need a little sleep
Ah, I see
In that case my plans will have to be changed
What will I do?
I know!
Nothing
Why don't you pay a visit to Martha's little school friend?
Ah ha
She probably has no idea what her husband's up to
And I could enlighten her
Ah, well
If I'm back in two hours, that still leaves us three hours, right?
You're a good wife, Charlotte
The best
That's a comforting thought to take with my to town, dear
Just may keep me from cutting my throat on the tram
Capable
Pliable
Women
Women
Undemanding and reliable
Knowing their place
Insufferable, yes, but gentle
Their weaknesses are incidental
A functional but ornamental
Race
Durable
Sensible
Women
Women
Very nearly indispensable
Creatures of grace
God knows the foolishness about them
But if one had to live without them
The world would surely be a poorer
If purer place
The hip-bath
About that hip-bath
How can you slip and trip into a hip-bath?
The papers
Where were the papers?
Of course, he might have taken back the papers
She wouldn't
Therefore they didn't
The woman's
Mine!
Therefore they didn't
So then it wasn't
Not unless it-
Would she?
She doesn't
God knows she needn't
Therefore it's not
He'd never
Therefore they haven't
Which makes the question absolutely
Could she?
She daren't
Therefore I mustn't
What utter rot!
Fidelity is more than mere display
It's what a man expects from life
Fidelity like mine to Desiree
And Charlotte, my devoted wife
How was miss Desiree Armfelt?
In good health, I trust?
Charlotte, my dear
I have exactly five hours
Five hours this time!
Last time it was four
I'm gaining ground
She had a visitor
A lawyer in a nightshirt
Now that I find interesting
What did you do?
Threw him out
In a nightshirt?
In my nightshirt!
What sort of a lawyer?
Corporation? Maritime?
Criminal?
Testamentary?
Didn't you sister's little school friend
Anne Sorensen marry a Fredrick Egerman?
Yes, she did
Fredrick Egerman
The papers
He mentioned papers
Some legal papers which I didn't see there
Where were they
The goddamn papers
She had to sign?
What nonsense!
He brought her papers
They were important, so he had to be there
I'll kill him!
Why should I bother?
The woman's mine!
Besides, no matter what one might infer
One must have faith to some degree
The least that I can do is trust in her
The way that Charlotte trusts in me
What are your planning to do today?
After the five hours?
Right now. I need a little sleep
Ah, I see
In that case my plans will have to be changed
What will I do?
I know!
Nothing
Why don't you pay a visit to Martha's little school friend?
Ah ha
She probably has no idea what her husband's up to
And I could enlighten her
Ah, well
If I'm back in two hours, that still leaves us three hours, right?
You're a good wife, Charlotte
The best
That's a comforting thought to take with my to town, dear
Just may keep me from cutting my throat on the tram
Capable
Pliable
Women
Women
Undemanding and reliable
Knowing their place
Insufferable, yes, but gentle
Their weaknesses are incidental
A functional but ornamental
Race
Durable
Sensible
Women
Women
Very nearly indispensable
Creatures of grace
God knows the foolishness about them
But if one had to live without them
The world would surely be a poorer
If purer place
The hip-bath
About that hip-bath
How can you slip and trip into a hip-bath?
The papers
Where were the papers?
Of course, he might have taken back the papers
She wouldn't
Therefore they didn't
The woman's
Mine!
Credits
Writer(s): Stephen Sondheim
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
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