The Derailment

There was a time when a boy tried to run away from me
And he was just like the others
Forgetting Everything And Running, FEAR -
What a shame
But there was something to him that sparked my attention
He was different, an outcast
Perhaps it was the underlying waves of
Calmness and warmth I felt propagating from him
It's unfortunate no one else could admire the beauty I have created
The silence that reigns the air
The reflections that glare
For I have taken over the lair
But he! He! That fool!
That wretched fool who dares turn his back to me!
This is MY kingdom!
And he dares to walk through it and not acknowledge ME?!
"In the end everything will rust and
Become dust to fade away into wisps of memories"
I whisper this truth in his ears again and again and again
Coating his tracks with a fine snow-white layer of deceit
Under which is hidden the black ice of my sneers
Somehow this fool trudges on
Through the storms of his mind
Through the pitfalls of his stupidity
Through the illusions of his insecurities
I am quite surprised
Not everyone gets this far
Those who've partaken in the journey before left
Their presence in the form of abandoned railroad cars
Faded, rusted, powerless to the chills of my touch
With their cabin doors gaping wide open like a black hole
That distorts the stories of their perseverance and strength
And spitting back the image of a scrawny pathetic
Attempt of success like those mirrors in fun houses
Yet the boy pushed onwards
Staring into these railroad cars as if he
Was looking deep inside himself for some answer
As if he was telling himself that the reflection in his
Eyes will give him the ocean of energy he needs to reach the end
But, what is the end?
What is this endeavour that is driving him
To seek some form of friendship with his demons
To make amends with his mistakes
To seek the mending of his wayward mind
I do not understand
But I shall feast on his fears, why I can just smell it
"In the end everything will rust and
Become dust to fade away into wisps of memories"
I whisper again and again and again,
Yet this boy still does not acknowledge me?!
How much power does he think he has?
For I haunted him
Swooped low enough to sweep his feet off the ground
High enough to make sure he feared looking up at his progress
Snagged every fragmented thought that
Wished for eternal happiness in my fingers
And left them splayed across his path like snapped twigs
I've uprooted trees, blew up power grids
Glazed every sign of life with
Fangs of ice like a paper mâché creation
Leaving this boy's world to become my canvas
So I sprayed colours of dismay that forced
Him to seek refuge in the abandoned railroad cars
Only for him to see the havoc I've wrecked within
As I've vandalized the walls of his ancestors' tales with malice
And left hope hanging from a noose in decay
So seeing this, he ran
Just as I expected
I watched the body of the boy
Stumble through the railyard of his failures
Weaving his path among those who have suffered
Infusing his stories with the few who have succeeded
As these unfinished tracks merged and disintegrated
I felt his mind pushing insanity, screaming for an escape
Legs kicking up clouds of dust as he
Reached the end of the final set of tracks
And there it is
The tunnel
Not everyone gets this far
I shall not let him pass
As he stared into the unknown abyss
The uncertainty of his next step swelled up
In his mind and I began to fuel that balloon
Filling it with every doubt he ever had
Screeching the unbearable question of whether this was all a mistake
Filling it with every failure that sent
Him in a downward spiral into depression
Every moment he thought silence was an
Enemy that came hand-in-hand with darkness
The fear of not succeeding
The question of whether he will make his parents proud
Every heartbreak
Every thought of whether he was loved
The neglect
The rejections
The fear of being judged
The pain of not fitting in
The never-ending 'why me?' that accompanied each abusive event
The misunderstandings of whether there was a God or not
No, none of this was a misunderstanding
"You shall not escape... You shall not escape... You shall not escape!
In the end everything will rust and
Become dust and fade into wisps of memories
For I am Negativity! I am Negativity, continuously fed by your energy
And you shall never escape me –"

I know you have been here before
We all have
And I wonder why we have given birth to such entities of
Positivity and negativity who make
Their own creators bow down to them
They call us Gods
Yet we enslave our souls to the term "human body"
And place limits and labels where limits and labels do not exist
I am tired and fed up with riding these waves of joy and sorrow
When I keep being told it's all only temporary
So what is all of this that we call "ours" when
Even this body was never "ours" to begin with...