Farmer's Tan

Disclaimer, I'm a skinny fella
Spending hot days under an umbrella
But I got a bit of a dilemma
Spent a minute on the beach, a condition developed
Somebody forgot the Coppertone
(Itchy, scratchy) Like a show within a show
Standing firm on the point of no return
Thin line redder than a sunburn
My forearm got third place
But what my bicep doing in the first place? (Don't know)
Lemme tell ya, better hope and pray somebody brought some armor
Else somebody end up looking like a farmer
It's just what the affliction's called
If I'm being perfectly honest man I'd rather be bald
But that's probably not smart, I apparently burn easy
My head would be red and I'd rather be dead, unnh

Now I am a lovely shade of rouge
Aloe Vera lotion, that's my truth
Got me wearing T-shirts in the pool
Thought I brought my sunblock but
Now I went and got myself (Got myself a farmer's tan)
Now I went and got myself (A noticeable farmer's tan)

My appendage neapolitan
My whole arm flip-flopping like a politician
Getting rays like I do good work (Good work)
But why'd I have to go and wear a short sleeve shirt?
Now I sizzle like a reel
Technicolor visible from here, wondering if it'll heal
Silver lining in a sky with no clouds
I'm kinda shy and look buff, I'll Even Stevens it out
I'm gonna find me a lounge, I'm gonna sit myself down
I'm gonna cook out like a burger till I average it out
And if you're wondering how I'm gonna turn it around
I'm gonna stay out every day now till the sun'll go down but dammit
I overdid it
Somehow reversed my affliction
If you're going for the golden while avoiding the cancer
Better take it to a sprayer, that's the number one answer, ahh

Now I am a lovely shade of rouge
Aloe Vera lotion, that's my truth
Got me wearing T-shirts in the pool
Thought I brought my sunblock but
Now I went and got myself (Got myself a farmer's tan)
Now I went and got myself (A noticeable farmer's tan)

Please somebody call an ambulance
Cuz lemme tell ya man, the burns, I can't handle this
Using so much coverup, it's so scandalous
You got a weather app, how come you didn't plan for this?
It's OK if you're uneven
Only gotta deal with ridicule for one season
Elbow down looking red like a mad demon
While my bicep looking pale like an Elizabethan

It's OK if you're uneven (Farmer's tan)
It's OK if you're uneven
It's OK
(Farmer's tan)