Malört

I relocated to Chicago early January
The weather was atrocious and the Red Line kinda scary
I found a place, I found some work and started getting cheques
So next I turned to Tinder in the hope of getting sex

I chatted with a lovely lady by the name of Lauren
We met up in a North Side bar, she liked that I was foreign
We got on well, some spark was there, she seemed like a good sort
It's at that point she asked me "Robbie, have you tried Malört?"
I lifted up the shot glass with anxiety and fear
Den holy craep! My aeccent's weird! It sounds like I'm frum here!

A shot o' Malört, a shot o' Malört will make ya feel new
A shot o' Malört, hey! puts Chicago inta you
With da Bears and da Bulls and da Hawks
And eider da Cubs or da Sox
Daaa CPL, da CPS, da CTA
A shot o' Malört will make everyting okay
Hey hey!

I'm Lars from Minnesota, and I studied architecture
But we don't have tall buildings there, so everything's conjecture
I moved to Chi to be exploited as a cheap intern
But den I haed a shot o' Malört and now I own da firm!

A shot o' Malört, a shot o' Malört will make ya feel new
A shot o' Malört, hey! puts Chicago inta you
With da Hancock, da Sears and da Trump
And why did I have to mention Trump?
Daaa Water Tower, Aqua and da shiny Bean
Malört is da finest drink daet you ever seen
Go team!

I'm Clint, I ran an improv team at U of Mississippi
I came here to take classes, A through E at Second City
Conservatory turned me down, that turned my life to hell
But Malört got me ta Mainstage and den ta SNL!

A shot o' Malört, a shot o' Malört will make ya feel new
A shot o' Malört, hey! puts Chicago inta you
With Revival, iO, CIC
De Annoyance, LOL, CSz
Daaa Playground, MCL and Under The Gun
Malört'll send you straight to number one
Well done!

Yo. I was born in Brooklyn in a big Italian home
I moved here in 1919, hello, I'm Al Capone
I used to get my way round here with a baseball bat
But den I learned about Malört and now I use daet!

A shot o' Malört, a shot o' Malört will make ya feel new
A shot o' Malört, hey! puts Chicago inta you
With da Green Mill, Colosimo's Café
And Clark St on Valentine's Day
Daaa speakeasies where dey serve you booze
Malört is a drink you caen't refuse
Good news

One hundred years ago the Poles owned the Near Northwest Side
But I'm new here, I can't afford it. Lord knows I have tried
I live at Harlem and Devon, that makes me really dark
But Malört let me kick da hipsters outta Wicker Park!

A shot o' Malört, a shot o' Malört will make ya feel new
A shot o' Malört, hey! puts Chicago inta you
With da

De Michoacán en México en julio yo salí
Para estudiar la matemática en UIC
La vida estaba dura con problemas en el norte
Pero desaparecieron cuando yo bebí Malörte!

Un poco Malört, un poco Malört will make ya feel new
Un poco Malört, ¡sí! puts Chicago inta you
Con los Bears y los Bulls y los Hawks
Y cualquiera de los Cubs o los Sox
Eeel CDOT y el WGN
Malört'll make everything todo bien
Amén!

And if you're wondering how my Tinder meet-up turned out in the end
Nothing happened, she said "Let's be friends."



Credits
Writer(s): Robert Thomas Ellis
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

Link