A Letter to the Girl I Love

Hi, how have you been?
'Cause I do not know
And that's 'cause you're gone
And I watched you go, saw you walk away
And I haven't seen you since that very day
Will I see you again?
Like, even as a friend, or something

But if I'm being honest, don't really want that
If I see you again, I want it to be as my love
'Cause fuck being friends and fuck being enemies
This is the end of me, I just don't know
When I feel sad, tell me, whose hand I hold?
Where do I go if I have no home? You know

I thought that, with time, I would learn how to heal
But that's just the opposite of how I feel
It feels like my heart is just peeling away
And all I can think about is if you stayed
Stayed on that day, I know you know the one
Where I made your heart break, and then my heart it broke
I wish that you stayed and then we could paint
And then we could bake and our sadness would fade

Fade into darkness while we fell in love
Like even more than we'd already done
So I look above, I look every night
I think about things about you that I liked
Liked about you and then it makes me smile
So I just lay there, I lay there for a while
I think of your laugh, I think of your eyes
I think of the way you could make me feel fine

It would be no matter what, no matter any type of day
No matter how I felt or the amount of all my pain
As long as you were there at the end of every day
I'd feel okay, I'd feel okay
But then I snap out of it, I look up at my ceiling
I think about you and then I wonder how you're feeling
Do you feel the same? Do you feel like me?
Do you feel like crying every time your heart beats?
Do you wanna run away, but then run to me?
I keep it all in, but emotions they bleed
What do you need? 'Cause I do not know
With every nightmare, I start to lose hope

Like, do you even think of me and do you really care?
Do you care about this song or these feelings that I share?
I know it isn't fair, to lay it all bare
But if I keep it all inside, I think my heart is going to tear
And now I'm tearing up while I look at these words
These words that I write, are they even being heard?
Or does it just hurt? Are you hoping that I stop?
The thought of you forgetting me, it makes my whole heart drop

And if it isn't obvious yet
I love you, still
And I always will
Yeah, I always will
Yeah, I always will

I've loved you every day since the day that we met
I knew it in my heart and I knew it in my head
And I'd do it all again, knowing how it turned out
Through every single tear and every single little pout
Through every single fight, even though we never did
And through every single night where I'd play with your hair
And you'd hold my hand and I'd hold yours, too
And I wouldn't say a word 'cause I knew that you knew
My love for you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
My love for you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I hope that you, you feel the same way that I do
I'm going crazy, yeah

And if it isn't obvious yet
I love you, still
And if it isn't obvious yet
I love you, still
And I always will

And this ain't even song, I'm just showing you my heart
Since the day that you been gone, everything's been really hard
All I really wanna do is show up right outside your door
Then I'd look at you and ask you, "Do you love me anymore?"
And even if you don't, I swear I'll never stop
Loving you is all I know and loving you is all I got
But if this is goodbye and if this is the end
I want you to remember that I'd gladly do it all again

And if it isn't obvious yet
I love you, still
And if it isn't obvious yet
I love you, still