Suicide Note

Forget happiness that's a side note
I wanna die leave a suicide note
Why do I feel like this I don't know
Tell myself I'll make it I won't though
I don't need others I'll go solo

Life isn't worth living
Don't listen to the advice that there giving
Wherever you go you'll never fit in
You've thinking about suicide so much
That you take the bullets and put them into the gun
I feel like I'm no one
I can't learn that I'm friend a brother I'm somebody's son
It all ends when I move my finger but I'm too afraid to pull the trigger
And I can't figrue out my reason to live with my temptation getting bigger
But I can't
I go out and eat dinner running away from my mind
Looking for the positive feelings I can't find
Still in shock I was gonna take my own life
I'll never find love no one'll become my wife
And I can't trust myself holding a knife
My existence is pointless
No one can hear me it's like I'm voiceless
It's like I'm not even here
So when I kill my self no one'll interfere
A talentless boy can't get a talent full career
No one'll look around when I disappear
If you have to ask if I'm ok I'm probably not
That's when I get on my phone and jot
My feelings on the spot
I've been through a lot
Me and my demons always faught
Then I'll keep them in the closet for later
Until they break out when my depressions even greater
My mind is a traitor
I look at myself and I'm my number one hater
Everyone's already left
And I'm ready for my life to end
I'll write a letter for the mail to send
But I got nowhere to send it but at least I can pretend
Or maybe I'll slit my wrist instead
That reminds me I need to get the blood stains out my bed
Oh wait I need to see the therapist I hate
I told him I'm sorry I'm late I was trying to not put a bullet in my face
He said that's ok I'm only here for your paycheck anyway
It's obvious you'll never change
That's it I'm gonna do it
I'm gonna take a knife and put my broken heart through it
I got quite the collection I just gotta choose it
The relationship between me and my mind is abusive
If I had a reason to live well then it's long gone
I thought my depression would get better but I thought wrong
Forget slitting my wrist I'd rather cut them off
I wonder if anybody would realize my corpse on the floor
Would it bring sorrow or would it be a score
Would you celebrate my life or would that be a chore
It's no shock that I hate myself
At the same time I don't want anyone else
I bet they would love to see me melt
And laugh in my face instead of help
None of you could understand the way i've felt
I'll hang myself by the neck and let my body strech
I should really stop giving myself scars
A little bit deeper and the light wouldn't be far
If you said you wanted me to live I bet you were paid
My emotions are useless I'll just let them fade
I started having suicidal thoughts in only second grade
I guess it was fate
Don't try to save me it's already to late
I don't wanna feel like this anymore
I wish someone would see my blood on the floor
I've never felt loved before
And I know I never will
I'll spend my whole life with this hole I need to fill
Depression is a cup I'll never spill
My emotions won't let me be happy
They say I don't spend enough time rapping
And that I'm slacking
My work ethic will have everyone laughing at me
My mind is toxic
But I don't need help I got this
I keep talking about this topic
Cause I'm hoping someone finds my mental prison and unlocks it
They say it's water under the bridge but I'm afraid to fall
They say if I have these thoughts there's a professional for me to call
But I don't wanna tell anyone I'm suicidal
Because once I kill myself I'll go viral

Forget happiness that's a side note
I wanna die leave a suicide note
Why do I feel like this I don't know
Tell myself I'll make it I won't though
I don't need others I'll go solo