Recruitment Song

I'd like to bring you up to date
On my adventures as of late
When last I saw you
I was looking for the pieces of the key
You see, I found them all
And then I found my Rider
We went home together
But we got stuck in the nowhere place between the portals

Congratulations are in order
Horse and Rider reunited
Uh, hmm, oh okay, so
So there's actually just a couple more things
Let me finish

There inside the rift, the nowhere king was lurking
Waiting to be freed
And accidentally, I released him
Whoopsie-daisy!
Here's the rub
He's coming now
He's got an army and we'll need one too
So I returned to Centaurworld to hopefully recruit you all to fight

Your problems don't concern the underground
But your interruptions here are quite upsetting
You clearly cannot read the room
But if you'd take a look around
You'd see you and your herd just crashed a moletaur wedding

Okay, yeah, uh, guys, this is totally a wedding
What?
Yeah, I see that now
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
Oh, you got a little dress on and everything
But anyways, since, uh, I'm already here

I was hoping to recruit you all to fight the war
What war?
The war that's coming
There's a horde with swords
And minotaurs will set this place ablaze
No way, can I bake s'mores?
No, not that kind of fire
It's the kind that kills and harms
I've seen it in my world so many times
We must prepare an army

So
I'd like to invite you all to join us in the fight
'Cause if you don't, then you maybe will die
And you maybe will anyway
Me?
No, the little one
She's talking to you
No, not you, that one
Maybe both of you if I'm being perfectly honest

Okay
Way to flonkin' go, Horse
Ugh, I do not need this right now
You're scaring everyone to death
You brought us back to the beartaur?
We can't pick and choose
We need everyone

I am not going in there
Me neither
I am not going in there, well
This is your thing, you go in, I'm not going in
Ugh, he tried to make me part of his collection

The last time you were here
All you did was kick and steal from us
All you did was kick a tree and steal our stuff
Okay, you're right, I'm- I'm sorry
How does it feel to kick a tree?
We don't know because we're trees
And we don't kick each other

Look, I'm sorry!
Yeah, I told you we never should've done that
What? No, you didn't! You kicked her too!
We don't steal from each other
Okay, okay, I didn't have anything to do with that
That was all Horse
I should've kicked you, Ched
If you're asking for our help, then we say, "No"

No?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Okay, thank you for your time, I guess