I Wouldn't Do That If I Were You

You've always been bereft of personality
But even for you, this is a touch too far
(Too far, too far, too far)
You drag me by my ankles, pull me by my ears
To places I don't want to be
With people I don't want to see
Check the nearest corner—that's where you'll find me

For me the party's over before it can begin
I exit the room the moment I come in
I don't see why you even bother at all
'Cause talking to me is like talking to a wall

I wouldn't do that if I were you
But you and I both know you'll do it
Regardless of anything I say or do
You drag me to a party
The last place on Earth I want to be
Oh, you say it's lovely on the banks of the Seine
That's great! I'll jump in at first opportunity

My independence you reject and my wishes you spurn
It's like sitting and watching the Notre Dame burn
I don't see why you even bother at all
'Cause talking to me is like talking to a wall

Maybe I enjoyed it at some point in time
But that time has clearly passed, now I just guzzle wine
It's not that I dislike you or wish you harm
I only wish you didn't have to twist my arm
It very well may just be a problem with me
'Cause you've shown me nothing, nothing but civility
Well it's just not my element, and I think you know
But you don't have to ask, 'cause you know I'll still go

If you want to reach me, you know where I'll be
You can come and pick me up, but can we leave before 3?
I don't see why you even bother at all
'Cause talking to me is like talking to a wall