Al Killem's Final Show

I ran a finger down the lists
Of legendary artistes
And there, below "Ventriloquists"
Was one of our high priests
Al Killem garnered much acclaim
A bawdy Yorkshire Tyke
His dummy going by the name
Of Willie Eckerslyke

Al was, up to his dying day
Incorrigibly blue
Though everything that Al would say
Young Willie would outdo!
The pair of them had entertained
For over four decades
When finally a gig was gained
Down at the Ace of Spades

The Ace of Spades, I should make clear
Was not some dead-end dive
They'd had Wee Georgie Wood appear
When he was seventy-five!
When Al and Willie took the stage
As many later joked
"The fella really earned his wage
At least until he croaked!"

The funeral was, to say the least
A show business affair
"A mix," according to the priest
"Of strange and debonair!"
With worshippers in every pew
The priest moved to the mic
And then they heard him, dead on cue
Willie Eckerslyke!

As later on the preacher deemed
The dummy took control
When Willie Eckerslyke, it seemed
Inhabited his soul!
The celebrant would come to ask
What happened to his readings
As Willie set about his task
To galvanise proceedings

It truly was a vintage feast
And blue as blue could be
And, disconcerting for a priest
Profoundly un-PC!
He flashed his audience a grin
And then – it's true indeed!
The parson's head began to spin
Like Chucky, but on speed!

The congregation had much fun
When Al cashed in his chips
The parson being the only one
Who couldn't move his lips!
Willie's performance in full flow
Was blasphemous, of course
As for Al Killem's final show?
It was his tour de force!