Extinguish

I like to wear my pride on my sleeve(ay)
Nothing gets to me(ay)
I just want relief(they)
Don't know what happens behind the scenes(ay)
Puppet on the strings(ay)
Coping with every(day)
Trying to survive hoping the feelings(change)
But still everything's(stays)
Barely have the means(wait)
What if this is all I'm worth
What if I'm cursed?
What if I all I can do is try other things but none of 'em work
What if it started at birth
What if the first?
Moment I opened my eyes I was destined for an early hearse
I was born in a desert
Dying of thirst
And all the water to keep me alive was removed from the earth
What I am suppose to learn
If life just hurts?
Expecting me to grow thicker skin as my flesh melts from the burns
Like how I am to discern
What's best or worst?
I'm seeking with no sight like trying to read a book with no words
I am battered I am bruised
Body hanging by a noose
Got two paths
One is new
One is bright
One's in ruins
One's like a
Brand new room
The other's
Been consumed I got no-
Thing left to lose
Familiar
One I choose
Close the door
Dark takes root
Choked give the
Chair a boot
But the dark is holding me up
It's keeping my neck just above
Whispers in my ear "You ain't done"
Just let the broken parts fall
Form your new body new jaw
Looking back at my demons
Realize they the ones keeping me dreaming
Giving me meaning never retreating Ay!
Voices in my head the only ones that listen
I used to keep my distance
Now I'm always close for when I need assistance
When I'm alone for instance
I can't open my eyes they say chase my vision
Remind me to keep living
When all I want is to brake they keep me driven
It's dark I found friends hidden
No one understands you like your mirror image
Get along with diminished
No one supports me like my own fucking damage

My flame extinguished
What did I do to deserve this?
Cause if I knew I'd at least have purpose
If I had one wish that would come true
I'd not exist and that's not new
My flame was never lit
Always extinguished
Only extinguished
No light just darkness
Always extinguished
Only extinguished
Flame's an empty pit
I'm extinguished

My light is dim fading in and out of consciousness
I'm cut too thin skin or shell will not persist
My chance is slim sit or stand stance is Everest
If ever it's come to question this
My benefits will start parroting my narrative
Clear it up like Claritin
When you doubt me be all ears
Listen to my auctioneers
Failure is my greatest fear
I'll swerve the odds
Till I cannot
Steer
It's weird how the more caged I am the more free I feel
When I get the weakest I drop my shield
The more hurt I am the more it lessens my need to heal
Like syllables being swapped
And having a flow build
Enough of the self reflection
My toughest the glass dimension
But it's the brain's obsession
Bluffing then adding
The upping of the complexion
My skill added
The double the of the proficient
From the torment and the unfortunate
Came adornments of sorts
It's a lot I'm burdened with
It's burning wit afraid it's permanent
Disorders went ornament
My brain could manage it and owning it
But then reversing it now it's pilot
Got me frightened not stable swerving it
Like turbulence that's simply infinite
When I met it aforementioned
Blocked out vision it's imminent
Danger the effects in they implement
Rapid decent like I took depressants
No affection survives all my toxins
Take fear copied it only to use it
Against what's needed I abandon it

My flame extinguished
What did I do to deserve this?
Cause if I knew I'd at least have purpose
If I had one wish that would come true
I'd not exist and that's not new
My flame was never lit
Always extinguished
Only extinguished
No light just darkness
Always extinguished
Only extinguished
Flame's an empty pit
I'm extinguished

A lot has abandoned me
But not the fear of abandonment
Like invisibility tied me down
With the weight of a planet
It happens so frequently knot gets tighter every minute
I panic looking for boats for
Safety in the middle of the Atlantic
Waves come down I cannot breath
Dread and anxiety compounded
Thrashing around helplessly
Till I find a friend or parent
I'm always at the mercy
Of my distorted environment
Always playing tricks on me
I don't think I'll ever manage it