Not Like That

We have invented an invention
You know duct tape?
It's not like that
We have created a creation
You know cupcakes?
It's not like that!
It's just a button, just a simple little button you can press
And when you press it you'll be happy with no harmful side effects
Okay our legal team's informed us
We must warn you of the button's side effects

You know that feeling
When you had something to say and then forgot?
This is not like that!
You know that stress you get
When you commit a crime and then get caught?
This is not like that!
It's just a button, just a helpful little button you can hit
It makes you happier for four to seven hours all depending on your blood type
Also, someone random on the planet dies
It probably won't be someone you know

You're gonna love this new thing
This happy-feeling machine
Side effects and strings attached
I want this but not like that

We have revised a new revision
We got your feedback
You did not like that!
We have modified the button now instead of someone dying
They will simply lose their balance as they're walking down the stairs
It's not your fault if they won't hold the rail

You're gonna love this new thing
This happy-feeling machine
Side effects and strings attached
I want this but not like that

This is our final off-er, our engineers have done their best
They've made the button softer so it's more comfortable to press
You'll get one hour of joy but then the button will
Make a college student oversleep their last exam
And a small business owner lose an envelope of cash
And a puppy will be told he's a bad dog when he didn't do anything wrong!

You're gonna love this new thing
This happy-feeling machine
Side effects and strings attached
I want this but not like that

I wanna love this new thing
I'd kill for something to bring
Happiness (without a catch)
I want this but not like that