Fan Fiction

You always loved to play this game
That you called "Real-Life Fan Fiction"
Where you'd take something real and innocuous and
You'd try to sneak in some ridiculous little details
To see if you could get away with it
It'd be something like:

Paul Revere, he had a secret fear of horses
That's why he rode so fast, he was just trying to get it over with!
Charles Darwin wrote a book about some finches
With a chapter on which bird adapted to be most delicious

And I'm a fan of how you fan the flames and make a game of fan,

Fan Fiction... What if something cool happened instead?
I'm just wishin' for the story to be more like in my head
Like Fan Fiction

You'd do this thing whenever we'd go to a grocery store or a farmer's market
And you would have me -- we'd pretend not to know each other
And you would make me go up and take a sample and say
Oh, may I please take one for my partner, as well?
And of course, they'd give it to me 'cause it didn't matter
And I would scurry back with our little contraband snack
And if we liked it we would hit 'em with the double play!
And you'd pull the same move on 'em.
And I'm sure that this is the standard operating procedure
Copied from the couple's playbook and we did not invent this move

But you always called this "Robbing the bank"
Which I always thought was so dramatic... and fun.

Fan Fiction... What if something cool happened instead?
I'm just wishin' for the story to be more like in my head
Like Fan Fiction

So we did this sort of thing all the time
Turning our mundane moments into Silver Screen Nonsense
To spice things up and make each other laugh
And it was fun when we were gossiping about our neighbors
Or making up tragic backstories behind the bones at the museum
But I think I got too good at making up stories
Thinking I could turn our story into a perfect little screenplay
That would wrap up in the third act with a happy-ever-after
Because people don't slowly drift apart in movies or fall out of love off-screen
They have big emotional confessions with dramatic music
That make it obvious that things just aren't the same as they used to be
And darling I didn't hear a thing when I said

Hey, we should go rob a bank
And you looked at me and your eyes were blank
How could you forget that? Are you so checked out? Are we okay?
It's like you didn't know my face, moved on from playing silly games
But interests shift and passions slip and times move on and people change

But if that's gonna happen I will fill in all the gaps with Fan Fiction

What if something good happened instead?
I'm just wishin' for the story to be more like in my head
And no matter how all this ends, it makes no difference
I'll be writing my own end with Fan Fiction

Fan Fiction