Shocking Plot Twist

It was a shocking plot twist!

Harrison had a perfect life
With a big backyard and a red-meat diet
He was always on time and he never cried
Didn't pose or boast or showboat even though
Harrison had a perfect life
Preyed every day and he loved his wife
You could count on nothing ever going wrong for him

Until his wife left him for a vegetarian
One two three four five!

It was a shocking plot twist
We've heard before
He had it all then lost it to an herbivore
When the unexpected wrecks you at your best
Well, you may get up but you can't make it make sense

But Harrison had great support
Friends helped him out through his divorce
They said, "Just get back on the horse"
He said, "I don't know what that means"
So Harry got a hobby and bought a telescope
Took it to the top of the hill to be alone
When he saw a shooting star and made a little wish on it for... hope

But then the news came on and said
It was a comet headed straight for Earth!

It was a shocking plot twist
All hope was lost
And from now on he'll not wish on giant rocks
When the unexpected wrecks you once again
Well, you may get up but you can't make it make sense

But in-stead of being shocked by the imminent apocalypse
He caught a little gossip 'round the office 'bout a rocket ship
And all he had to do was forge a couple little documents
To get a seat on the rescue ship
But when Harry snuck in to modify the manifest
He got caught!
By someone he did not expect
The pesky vegetarian, Harry's very nemesis from earlier in the song!

It was a shocking plot twist
Ooh ooh ooh (oh nooo, Harrison!)

So Harry hid the body and he headed straight home
His final meal eaten and his baggage all stowed
Tomorrow he was leaving, and Harrison was rarin' to go

But then he accidentally set his alarm for pm instead of am
So the rocket ship took off without him
Five four three two one!

It was a shocking plot twist
Left on the ground
He had it all then got kicked while he was down
When the unexpected wrecks your last defense
Well, you may get up but you can't make it make sense

So Harrison watched the rocket fly away
While a single tear rolled down his cheek
And hit the ground 12 feet below
His cute neighbor with the weird neck came over and said
"I can't believe we're going to experience the first
Comet-based mass extinction event in our planet's history"
She said, "What position do you wanna be found in
By the humans... in 65 million years?"
That's right!
This whole time

Harrison was a dinosaur!
One two three four five!

It was a shocking plot twist
He was a T-rex
And you all never saw this coming, I bet
But the unexpected rex is hard to guess
When you make it up and you make it make no sense

So, Harrison, he died that day
Then we dug him up and put him on display
The scientists could not explain
Why he was huggin' a brontosaurus
So there's just one thing left to twist
Our prehistoric biases
If you assume someone's like you, be warned
They might actually be
A dinosaur