30 Plan

And it starts tonight because
Tonight's the night, but not just any night
It is movie night!
I would've made you dinner... but my toaster broke

So you put on a little sci-fi film
About the dangers of blah, blah, blah, whatever
I am barely watching, time is standing still
I'm about to change my life forever

I ask you if we can chat a minute
And you say sure when the movie's finished
So I fast-forward to the end and say
I think that we should be more than friends

You say look... you're great
Uh-oh, that's not a good start
You say you're not ready for that and
Don't wanna mess up what we have
But... I have an idea, you say
And you reach into your bag of things
That 20-year-olds think are good ideas
And you pull out this massive classic gem

If we're both still single at 30, will you marry me?
It's a pinky promise shifted one to the right
It's too soon for I do's, will you take an I might?
If we're both still single at 30

And I am not your first choice
But I'm a solid 30 plan
Hot damn safety net that I am
You gotta back up, love, so you know where I stand
I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance
I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance

So we cut to the scene
Where I build a machine, but not just any machine
It is a time machine!
I made it from my toaster, like that movie
Hot toast time machine

I load a bagel in the "future" slot
Set to ten and smack down on the lever
A decade passes in a single thought
I'm about to change my life forever

I find you and you're still single, I am obviously single
It's like a tale from a storybook
Until you say "how does forty look"?

But wait... I'm pretty sure you said, and I quote
If we're both still single at 30, will you marry me?
It's a time capsule, no it's a proposal
A little bit of neither, and a little bit of both so
Now we're both still single at 30, but apparently
What you really meant to say was
Ah come on! let's pick an arbitrary number!
Kick the can down the road before we tie it to the bumper
You never thought we'd be single at 30

But I am still not your first choice
But I'm a solid 40 plan
Hot damn safety net that I am
You gotta backup-love, so you know where I stand
I'll take a maybe, a shot, or a chance
Yeah, I'll take a maybe, a shot or a chance

There are no bagels in the future, I
Have got one left but two slots on my toaster
One'll take me forward, one'll take me back
One's another chance and one is closure

I load my bagel, I've made up my mind
Set to ten and smack down on the lever
A decade passes as I go through time
I'm about to change my life forever