Nightcap Terrors

Occam's razor under your nose and you don't know
A simple call to solve it all and you don't know
("And you don't know")
("And you don't know")
Did everything the parents said, investments in the bank
Halfway through life, don't think I left enough in the tank

Middle of adulthood, watch my options dwindle
They made it sound so easy, they made it sound so simple
What to be when you grow up, little human?
These days, ten thousand ways to life, choose one
Cool, graduate, then work that job till you're very ill
Till, you're sixty five, we'll, see you at the burial (damn)
Four decades between? Don't mention the cost of livin'
Mainstream discourse made a glaring omission
All possible purposes and you might live multiple
That's a lot to present to a child to juggle
Who knew move cross country make new friends'd be such trouble
Much easier in kiddie prison yard united in struggle
Teacher said look to me to not be a slacker (behold)
Today I wouldn't get off the couch weren't for my fitness tracker
Take a stand reminder, indifference of good worker bees
What's my purpose, or am I living worthlessly?
Teacher said look to me, the next Bill Gates, thanks but
That comparison a terrible burden and backdrop
There can only be so many lucky get that gap crossed
Compare my ordinary life to his, feel my game's lost

Occam's razor under your nose and you don't know
A simple call to solve it all and you don't know
There's an answer in the game of twenty questions
I wanna win in fewer guesses
Strangers share only successes
("And you don't know")
And get props, you don't see their hustle, their messes, their plight
("And you don't know")
Can't bear to compare them, can't bear to look into yourself
It's easier to drown it, than to learn self-help

Witness me on my nightly haunt (witness)
Stride past the homeless, seek shelter at a chic restaurant
I'm the gentry you fear, rich business want me back
My salary raise ya inequality and property tax
Survivor guilt stand on shoulders of slave wage labor
Staff on a treadmill, that'll, never hit paydirt
Do I deserve luxury? How much self-help genre drunkenly pondered
How to not be a monster, find purpose
If I could just put my finger on it
("And you don't know")
Lost, awkward, other guests got a lavish glow
My shotglass hand pale, shaky
No one here know my depth down the rabbit hole
Churned on my purpose for days, maybe? My brain vapor
Ain't make progress, so cocktail shaker; barman they shook
Why bother bring the book, Bookers beer back hit the brain
The shell blankly people watch, what wisdom to retain
From the bestseller as I quench this
Life's a checkbox called self-care so you get back into the trenches
Today and every day wasted, await a new start
Can't stand alone at home so go be alone at a bar
I tip for good service
Thank the owner-scheduled friendship come to me
There till close, stumble home, repeat, that's my summary

Occam's razor under your nose and you don't know
A simple call to solve it all and you don't know
Insomnia's body's revenge for thoughts you don't let it have
I buried 'em with rum and weed instead (so tired)
You think only substances can be vices?
("And you don't know")
What about oxytocin, do you know what the street price is?
("And you don't know")
Friends ebb and flow, the bond with yourself don't even come close
Took a look inside and I just froze

Insomnia's body's revenge for thoughts you don't let it have
I buried 'em with LTRs and responsibility instead
Move in together, suffocate what makes you you
No need for voices in your head, your lover's got a few too (oh god)
Hope it fix itself like that leaky faucet
Repeat after me, another person's not a project
Hope it last forever like my boomer parents' careers (sold a lie)
High school cheerleader only the same team a couple of years
Too many hits of that love drug, now it don't hit the same
Addict, tolerance, lace with an unwanted kid, it's a shame
Only worry 'bout others with no time for your mental (who even am I?)
Look at the deferred maintenance on this temple
("And you don't know")
Codependent with your time, got no other connects
So many throw away their life after school and nobody object
'Cause love, 'cause they found their bliss, who are we to comment?
How you dare say no to social drugs when everybody on it? (Tell 'em)
I'm down on relationships it appears
Actually, no, I had many lovely years
But every relation ends, every meeting could be the last, promise
You'll invest in yourself, or stare into the void lost seeking solace

Occam's razor under your nose and you don't know
A simple call to solve it all and you don't know
Militant path to delirium tremens
Fulfillment's out there and I gave it a sedative?
A world of addictions
(And you don't know)
You can't sleep! You didn't listen
Pour one out for the future you're missing, if only your purpose found
'Fore you think too deep, you order another round