Ruminate

Hustle my project, it ain't nothing new
Flow for the bill unpaid, the rent that's due
Will the whipped mule ever rest?
Stop to ponder anything but the work? Today bring new stress
Can't believe my girl pick a fight
Jerk cut me off in traffic, ain't sitting right, can't resume my flow
"I'm not ready yet
To let you go"

There's no time for distraction on the treadmill
Run from, toward what, the hell is a red pill
Can't believe the server was rude
You think I could move on but momentum's in a mood
A fraction of my day, the whole pie it feels yo
I fixate real slow
"I'm not ready yet
To let you go"

I need a break, I need to move on
You made a mistake, I need to multitask, you choose one
Boss give new work, what's first is last now
Not a robot that can just move it to the background
I don't need sick days, can't let go for months, shit's cray
Into space I stare, on the floor I lay low
"I'm not ready yet
To let you go"

Shoulda learned my lesson
Feel a tractor beam from another dimension
It's like I'm TV, someone else with the remote
Fell asleep on some sick Tarantino Murder She Wrote
Wish I could sleep but I care too much
Thought nothing at first then grew sus
The voice say
("I'm not ready yet") Are you my forever?
("To let you go") My mind found its own

Carefully made my todo list, man
My brain had other plans
The way you puppet my day
No recourse for the way that my strings played
I feel I could do this if it weren't for you
I feel I could do this if it weren't for you though
"I'm not ready yet
To let you go"

You separate me from the animals
Separate from you it's laughable
Run from all of my problems
You stay with me always tryna solve them
Did you protect me in past volumes?
Who do I ask if you're friend or foe?
"I'm not ready yet
To let you go"

When people say relax, do they mean distract?
At gym afraid you wait at home when I get back
Even if I could leave, the problem persist bad
People all up in my ear and I just can't
This a bad time, project is due
Repute up for renew, I really need to prove
("I'm not ready yet") I deserve to stay
("To let you go") I am worthy, I am here

Damn! Can you be quiet?
Been in the air years like this, groaning metal on autopilot
Teacher dismiss the daydreamer as malady
Yeah I'm odd, but they deny my reality
Deal with this all alone ever since
Ascribe other's indifference to malevolence
("I'm not ready yet") Is this my forever?
("To let you go") Will you help me?

Bluebird in my heart wants to get out, oh
But I'm too tough for him, I say, no, no no
Stay down, you want to mess me up?
You want to screw the works up?
You want to blow my record sales in Europe?
You want others to shake me out my fantasies?
That there wasn't a past branch for a future life longer lasting?

Sick society made me go it alone, won't listen
Post industrial move off farm support system
Bullshit jobs, piece of paper you submit to
Pay no mind to the man on the train with the issues
Whose voice is that whispering, drink some wine
I don't want "of," give me peace *from* mind
Insight into a gnarled world you can't unwind
Will you even let go when it come time?
Gimme the peace, gimme the peace
Stop stop the voices, stop, your melody is weak
Elders don't know either, advice that worked for them
Different era, welcome to the swim in the deep end
Thought writers block a mind abyss
It's occupied, no room for all else to exist
Always on guard, what if this time it got it right?
Matter of time 'fore they find I'm not bona fide
Life recipe book, want all the specs
Encapsulate every nuance in a wall of text
That get blocked and reported 'cause nobody want it
Pretend your mental illness don't exist, you verboten

Live under a rock till I retire
Have a cold blanket and a barrel of fire
Live under a bridge 'cause wolves *were* at the door
Never enough bread to ride out your war
Generational cycle
Attract a life that's still just like you
You bring about what you think about
What if, what if, what if, my mind single out
Now I'm comforted, now I'm frozen
All in, limp in your jaws, my future trip chose it
"I'm not ready yet
To let you go"