My Neighbor Jim

My neighbor Jim's a worthless sack of shit
Stole my truck and drove it right in the ditch
Took my mower, but never brought it back
He thinks he's tough, but I'll beat his ass

I'm done with his games, I've reached my limit
The time has come, I'm gonna make him regret it
No more talking, it's time to fight
He's gonna pay for this shit tonight

So I took a fat shit on his front porch swing
Fucked his wife, and then pawned her ring
Drove my truck right through his country door
I'm a country man, and I'm goin' to war

Jim ain't done, he's got a twisted mind
Peeped at my wife through the bathroom blinds
Spray-painted wieners on my pickup truck
This fat rat bastard's runnin' out of fuckin' luck

So I pissed in his truck, slashed all his tires
Smeared dog shit on his sunday attire
Tossed his tools right into the creek
Then pounded his wife's fat booty cheeks

So I set his barn on fire with gasoline
Watched it burn down while I sipped Jim Beam
Rode off in my truck as the flames rose higher
He said I'm gay but he's a goddamn liar