Sad

This first song is called
"A World On Fire"
Aah! Oww!
This next song is a little bit longer than that one
And, um
It's about all the sad stuff I see in the world
And I see a lot of sad stuff, and it's called "Sad"
Get on my level, Madison
Picture a depressed onion cutting itself

I met a homeless man named Rich
(He wasn't...)
Isn't that terrible?
I saw a flyer for a lost dog, and the dog didn't have any legs!
I saw a diabetic kid
Trick-or-treating
I saw a giraffe who had a short neck!
That was sad, or a- deer!

I saw an old man get hit by a train
He didn't see it in the pourin' rain
He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!"
'Cause I didn't say anything!

I just thought to myself, "Ooh, this is gonna be sad..."
And it was!
I'm a genius!

I saw a man with only one eye
In a 3D movie
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone, directly on his mother's corpse!
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree, then the kitten jumped off and he hung itself
I saw a boy who had red hair!

I went to a store, lookin' for somethin' to buy
But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
No, wait! this store sells mirrors!
See what I did there?
Let's rock!
No!

The world's so sad, Madison
Pain, war, genocide, racism, sexism
But I gotta remember, there's good things about it too
Like the fact that none of that's happening to me, score!
Still though, it's hard not to be sad about it
How do y'all do it?

I've been telling you guys terribly sad things this whole song
You haven't been sad at all
You've been happy, no, you've been laughing!
That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything!
It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world!
I mean, not for the people that are actually sad
But the people like us, that gotta fuckin' deal with 'em all the time!
Being a comedian isn't being an insensitive prick
Capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, it's being a hero!

The world isn't sad
The world's funny, I get it now!
I'm a sociopath!

I saw an old man slip and fall, what a fucking idiot!
I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral
Ha, ha, ha! Classic comedy!
Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now
The Holocaust, and 9/11
That shit's funny, 24/7

'Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about
Because my empathy is bummin' me out
Goodbye, sadness
Hello, jokes!

Thank you very much