Shrinkage

Hanging with a girl on a Sunday night
It's a quarter past 9, yeah time is tight
Had dinner at Arby's, fine cuisine
Yo check it out, I'm a love machine
Got her flowers, got her candy
Hope these singles come in handy
Think we're heading back to my place
Got some candles just in case, so
Hour after in the pool
It's getting hot but I play it cool
I'm changing clothes, dressed like a tool
But when I look down it was something cruel

(Shrinkage, baby) It's a legitimate thing
Cuz I just got out of the pool
And it was 40 motherfucking degrees
(Shrinkage, baby) Don't be pointing at me
Oh, I swear to God, don't say a word
Or you're walking home now

Stop! It's Joel, don't wear it out
Name's hard to say when we're making out
Single, double, triple hit
Whatever base, I don't give a shit
Catch her looking, catch her peeping
Just pretend that I was sleeping
Waiting for her to make a move, whatever she's thinking, I approve
Wondering when the moment's right
Just hope that moment comes tonight
My eyes are on that minute hand
Until I reach that promised land
Finally, she says hello
But apparently, the lights were low
I thought she was pretty up to now
But damn, this chick's got a unibrow

(Shrinkage, baby) This never happens to me
You were good from afar but far from good
And I'm sorry but I misunderstood
(Shrinkage, baby) It's a natural thing
Cuz you went from a treat down to a trick
And unfortunately that's shrinking me quick

(Woah-oh-ohh) It's something automatic
(Woah-oh-ohh) It's something so erratic
(Woah-oh-ohh) It's something problematic
(Woah-oh-ohh) It's something so traumatic

When you're talking with a woman on the internet and killing it
You're chilling on the Mike & Molly message board and feeling it
You try to bag a hottie, get a picture of her body
Then you find out she's a dude (Shrinkage)

Going on a date and everything is going great and so
You wanna get the check and now it's getting kinda late and so
You go back to her pad and now you're getting kinda mad cuz
You were forced to watch The View (Shrinkage)

Eating a banana, and you're hanging with your nana
And you're watching NFL with Cincinnati and Atlanta
And your grandpa waddles in and gets on over to your nana
And they start to get it on (Shrinkage)

Hanging with the fellas and your shorty's getting jealous
Cuz you're watching UFC and you are getting overzealous
So she takes your buddy's sack and goes to lead him to the back
And then she cheats on you three times

(Shrinkage, baby) It's not a problem, you see
Cuz it's tough sometimes, but you gotta know
That I can't always be good down below
(Shrinkage, baby) Don't be hating on me
Cuz it's just a roll of quarters in my pocket
Girl, what else could it be?

(Woah-oh-ohh) It's something so sporadic
(Woah-oh-ohh) So please don't talk about it
(Woah-oh-ohh) No need to get dramatic
(Woah-oh-ohh) I said don't talk about it

HCP at it again
Ha!
That shit's mountaintops
Shrinkage