No New Chapters

Dear me why are you leaving me?
Just like everyone else
Why don't you love me
Stay inside my head please
Nobody knows me like you do
I didn't mean to hurt you
But

Hope you realize that you left me traumatized
With each of your secrets which are sort of lies
My personality be crazy you know all the sides
They be making noises like they're the poltergeist
Voices mostly louder and they don't compromise
I see delusional things with my open eyes
God expects me to be strong, I was born to fight
But I think I'll be okay if I hit bong tonight
Life being slow paced, no songs to write
Guilt feels heavy so many wrongs to right
Can't face my problems so I just vocalize
Only way for me to take out what's inside
Lived in lies n disguise, truth was denied
Hoped somebody to save me, shoot my evil side
But I made them leave me cuz of ego and pride
I can't blame anybody I'm the reason why I died
I wanna spend my life, with joy and laughter
I can't do it if I'm alone and shattered
This path of suffering I was never after
Phoenix ends here now no new chapters
Man how tf do I live with this heavy burden
I don't even know if I'm hurt or hurting
Once this drama ends, I don't think I'm worth
I think I should kill myself behind this curtain
I keep holding on and nothing is certain
Not gonna let go if things ain't working
For the fact I know I'm not a perfect version
But please don't leave me I'll be a better person
I just want to be loved, I am not a diversion
Tell me this is true and I'm not in delusion
Use and throw me hope it's not your decision
Cuz everyone throws me with the precision
Without you by my side I won't have a reason
To continue this life, it'll feel like prison
I'll keep questioning myself why I'm breathin'
Please tell me my evil side that you're not leaving
Don't go
I wanna spend my life, with joy and laughter
I can't do it alone if I'm lost and shattered
This path of suffering I was never after
Phoenix ends here now no new chapters
Never thought you would end up in my songs
I'm sorry for hurting you because of all my wrongs
I gave you my everything don't you deny that
Scared to write hoping it doesn't fire back
Loved you a lot, couldn't leave when you left
Holding on to that it only got me wrecked
Got lost in darkness, I could never come back
Every time we parted, where's the drink at
I couldn't keep cutting and drinking and smoking
I begged you to save me I was too broken
Slapped me with my mistakes and all my weakness
You killed me in front of mes, they all are witnesses
Things happened to me that I can never share
I'm too ashamed to share plus nobody even cares
What was going on was killing me, I wish it stopped
This is my last goodbye, I love you hip hop
I wanna spend my life, with joy and laughter
I can't do it alone if I'm lost and shattered
This path of suffering I was never after
Phoenix ends here now no new chapters