Why

I wish I knew how satan would try to use me like a tool
When I was growin up in Robert Schuller's school
Watching him preaching on tv looked so cool
But never seemed like something I'd wanna do
Till I had a kid thats almost 2
Stripped from me at 32 and
Realized what I gonna have to do
To teach him in just a few days a week
What I thought I had everyday to do
Son the best thing i can do is give Jesus to you
And he loves me, and he loves you
And and even your Mom and her family too
Called to build a ministry
Infused with poetry ironically
Because Schuller gave me an award for a poem in grade 3
I wouldn't pickup the pen again til 30
But i always felt the fire of these words burning in me
And now the words turning my heart toward a yearning
To create a ministry of learning directly from the Bible
Different than any cherry picked sermoning
Or self help regurgitating
Cause I think there's something some are forgetting
Like uhh, Revelation 22:19
Don't add, subtract from this book, which includes taking it out of context
Cause Jesus died for our sins and hes comin back next
Thats called the gospel it's what we're called to preach from the text
But on these churches stage today
Ive seen everything from Dr's to wounded vets, telling me where to place my bets
My bets?
How bout on Jesus
How bout he came to save us and thats enough
And there is power in Jesus
And my son will see us
And that us is me and him
He banishes my fear on a whim
And his lights never dim
I'm humbled and he calls me in
Cleansing me of sin
And son you can call on him again and again
Jesus is your best friend regardless of any religion or fancy doctrine
I prayed he'd keep you safe through the emergency c section on the day
Your life was to begin
And I held you so proud and mimi and kiki followed by papa all cryin came in
And i asked a lot from Jesus that day, but I can't remember ever thanking him
For giving me a perfect baby boy when the only thing I'm great in is sin
And I understand that I'm not worthy of the cross he carried or the body they burried
I had sex with his Mom and although we had plans we weren't married
And out of our sins you gave me this perfect baby boy to carry
You work for my good so much that it's scary
Im so glad I have a perfect God thats there for me transforming my sin into ministry
Its like some people are meant for dentistry
And you reserved writing poetry about you for me
Now thats my type of deity I believe in you and you believe in me
And every soul i help save in your name
Will take their guilt, their shame, & their blame, to the cross and never be the same
So no more rebound sex or wheepy poems about my ex
No more livin in sin I seek repentance
The goal is thank you Jesus in every action and every sentence
Stripped from my son I wear this on my chest like a pendant it's intense
Im a soldier living on a battlefield listening to bombs and sleeping in tents
Sent away to battle on a ship out to sea
Its like I got full on ptsd
When she took my kid from me
And sometimes what I want to say
Is that someones gotta pay
But I digress
And seek guidance
From the Lord
Sometimes the best I can do is pray for vengeance and be self righteous
Asking for the sword
But he gave me a pen
So I guess I'll tell my story till it ends
And I forgive them
I am a follower of Jesus and a Christian
But your going to have to excuse the fact that I sin again and again and again
Its depressin
And this is my confession
Cause I can say I'll never sin again and sin before the sentence ends
I'm an open book to all my friends like this is where the cross begins
And this is what the cross is
It's an oasis in a world satan's claimed as his
But imperfect souls are presentable thanks to the light that Jesus is
And my mission is to let everybody know
That self will is a well of emptiness for the soul and it grows
This new age satanic movement needs to go where something the devil loves goes
As these wars unfold
Jesus is returning to banish all foes
I believe he's arose
And soon you'll be watching it like tv shows
So grab your popcorn
And I'll bring my story to a close
Shoutout to every Dad out there if this story is yours that i expose