Miss You Son, Continuance

I miss you son and it hurts so bad
Seems like it's been since your age that I wanted to be a Dad
But your Mom got a lawyer and she took you from me
Shoulda thought twice before havin a kid in Cali
So while I struggle for rent everyday
She'll get half my checks when with her parents she stays
And I would give the whole thing if it were going to you
It goes to botox clinics I think she could've used glue
And I aint sayin I don't want your Mom to get a new pair of shoes
God bless her heart she carried you when you were still new
To have us all together I tried everything
Money, cars, time, a ring
But your Dad could mess up a cinder block's day
When I'm caught in the moment
So selfish i stay
I'd ask God please and I'd scream at the sky
And stay up late while she was out and telling us lies
And catching her was the worst that night I wanted to die
But I thought about you and the rope untied
I walked to the church and I said God please
And the next day I found myself with my friend JC
And he helped save Daddy I just thought you should know
No matter what Daddy's gonna be here watching you grow

Depression sets in
Can't live my life without sin
And when it begins
I'll lay in my bed from sunup till the day ends
My chest feels like lead and my head tells me I wish it would end
Not just this depression my life cuz I'm tired of the strife
Off label pharmaceutical uses keep me under the knife
Nothing works I've given it 1,000 tries
These Dr's are either detached from reality or telling straight lies
A couple of months ago I already said my goodbyes
And I started missing myself and my eyes began to cry
Thinking of my son growing up with her new guys
I walked to the church, sat under the cross, and prayed to the sky
You took on my yolk and removed the devils lie
Took me out of the valley where he left me to die
Told me your plan is best for me not always why
Its faith I live by