Baptism

How long must I wait to become this person I want to be
To be purged of all anger and hate and set entirely free
Why do I insist on chasing a perfect version of me and insult the Fathers creativity
Its easy for me to forget its about we and that I'm accomplishing exactly what he needs
Jesus saves he saved me
But sometimes things don't make sense and I still worry
What the future holds right now is really blurry to see
By the time I get out of this mess with his Mom my son will be 3
The fears set in.will he know me
And how can he when I'm still looking
Got a day job and a side company
And I don't need bookings for this poetry to be a release for me
My confession is out to see for everybody
I pray to God youll try to see the best in me
Any form of religion you bought I promise you that Jesus is the key
At the sound of his name demons flee and miracles start happening
Like me getting out of bed and getting dressed
This past year left me stressed and depressed
Finally decided to move back to my hometown and so far it's for the best
Barely made it through the past couple months were an intense test
But I'm ready to put family court to rest, and get these albums pressed
So if your tired of screwing your own family like incest
Couple more court dates & payments and we're coparents Its cement
And I'm sorry for my part
I know we never meant for this to go this far
The night I picked you up in front of the bar in my new car
But you thought I was a star
And now think Mars is where I be
I swear I feel like this world is not for me
This doesn't feel like living it feels like paying a fee
What happened to this country
I'm a white straight male so I feel like they're comin for me
Woman used to be so much less frightening
But now its like going into hiding seems like the right thing
I get it
What I went through would leave anybody apprehensive it's not surprising
And plenty of the fish in the sea are still nice to me
I'm really just trying to heal I'm not lying
Getting closer to my family going to church with Mom and Kiki
And soon I'll be bringing my son with me
Been praying for him and his Mom and her family every Sunday at Calavary
Because I really want peace between all of us
No matter what me tellin the truth in my poetry causes
Know that where I'm at now I wish I could change all this
Wish i could send a kiss along with this if ya saw this
Releasing all my Truth is therapy Its what I call this
Preaching in the booth like a pharisee with balled fists
Till I'm calmed by my faith in Jesus
And my ego is shown for how self righteous it is
You say maybe things can calm down now and I believe in this
Wondering what the lesson you're trying to teach me is
Does it feel good to discipline me in court instead of with a fist
Donno if I'm talking to you anymore or Jesus
Its all the same I guess
I'm left distressed and my arrest
Is aiming somewhere For someone to impress like its my only quest
Be fruitful and multiply until I'm put to rest
Living life compressed
With lies our own government attests
Protest and have your life destroyed at their behest ask Mr. West



Credits
Writer(s): Robert Mcbride
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