Better Than Before

I wish that I could
Live with my eyes closed and my mind open
Leave 'em behind all these challenges I've chosen
All of the time stolen looking to find hope in you
When you have no respect for my emotions
Never being honest
Always excuses ready
So many that calling them out would be a losing battle
There is no way to keep up
And I wish I wouldn't feel the need to speak up and repeat
Why it's so bad between us
You're trying to put your reality into my mind
But I'm trying not to let you get too far into my life
The only issue is I don't know how to do it right
I'm doing fine without you and see no future for you and I
But something holds me back when it comes to cutting the ties
You're part of my life even if I fucking despise it
And I wish I could believe the words from your loving disguise
But all you do is talk and there really is nothing behind it

I didn't make up the person that you are
It's the things that you've done that are tearing us apart
And you wish that I could forgive and forget what's in the past
But without me getting closure it simply wouldn't last
I'm just sick and tired of it all
In the end being human isn't anybody's fault
But the things that you did are too big to be ignored
Maybe we can't work it out
Maybe we'll be better than before

I wish I wouldn't care but it seems I do
Aware it's unreasonable
Despair that I feel cause you weren't there when I needed you
Scared I might be like you, scared of just seeing you
All plans for solutions seem very unachievable
I was always honest - tried to keep you close
But there's no compromise to make so one will need to go
There is no way to make up
And I would really like to leave behind and free my mind from you
And all the space you take up
I gave you every chance to get into my life
But you preferred to just pretend that we are doing fine
And so you left me with no choice but to leave you behind
I can't look after your wellbeing if it means I'm losing mine
But no matter how hard, no matter how hopeless it seems
No matter how far apart we are and how open to speak
I know that you can be much more than I've chosen to see
There's moments I feel like we can become what I hope us to be

I didn't make up the person that you are
It's the things that you've done that are tearing us apart
And you wish that I could forgive and forget what's in the past
But without me getting closure it simply wouldn't last
I'm just sick and tired of it all
In the end being human isn't anybody's fault
But the things that you did are too big to be ignored
Maybe we can't work it out
Maybe we'll be better than before

I'm just sick and tired of it all
Thank you anyway
I'm just sick and tired of it all
Thank you anyway